Ouch

You'll never guess how much fun I had yesterday. I got flogged. For the third time. People just really hate being preached at these days. I don't know what this world is coming to. I seriously think we're getting awful close to Christ's return. I mean just like he said, there are wars and rumors of wars, and children are turning against their fathers. I'm thinking about writing a book titled "88 Reasons Why the Rapture Could Happen in the Year 88." Think anyone would buy it?

Snake handling

Someone suggested to me that I should become a professional snake handler. I'm not so sure about that. I mean, so what if I'm immune to the venom, those things are so annoying. And believe it or not, being bitten hurts. Let's face it, a Viper makes a really nice car, but not a pet.

Those foolish Galatians!

I wrote an email to the Galatians this morning. Man, those people can be so dense! They keep thinking that they can earn the Spirit of God by their own works and by observing the Law. I told them that they were foolish, and I asked them how they got so bewitched. I don't know, do you think I was maybe a little too harsh? I went on to tell them that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough. I hope they don't take that too literally.

I felt the need to create a list for them of all the acts of the sinful nature. Those kids are so evil, and they really need to get their act together. But I didn't want to just leave them with all of the "don'ts" so I also gave them a list of all the "fruits of the Spirit," as I called them. If this doesn't get to them, nothing will. Finally, towards the end of the email I said, "Don't anybody be causing me no more trouble, because I already got the marks of Jesus on my body." Being an apostle really drags on you.